Managing Disagreements - If you don't like my idea you don't like me

Anthony Schuman, a health services researcher, has published a paper on Human relationships. Through his teaching and writing (more than 90 articles and book chapters and the book “Partnerships in Healthcare: Transforming Relational Process”) he has become a leading proponent of a partnership-based clinical approach known as Relationship-Centered Care. His work focuses on organizational change and how people can work together more effectively across all levels of healthcare.

When people disagree at work, it is often misinterpreted as a personal attack. The standard reaction is that " If you like my idea, you like me, if not, you don't like me"  src HBR

Suchman recommends using a series of Relationship building statements represented in the Acronym  PEARLS. src

            We’ll see this through together
            I really want to work on this with you 
            It sounds like that was frightening for you
            I can sense your sadness
            Great – I can see how happy that made you
            You put a lot of work into this.
            You did the right thing
            I so respect your knowledge
            I’ve always appreciated your ability to stay focused in a crisis
            This would be hard for anyone
            Who wouldn’t be worried about something like this?
            I’d like to help you with this
            I want to see you succeed


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